If Women Ruled the World

President Tarja Halonen

PM Mari Kiviniemi

If women ruled the world, things would all be different, right?

In June this year, Finland elected its second female Prime Minister. This came on top of already having the country's first female President. Hardly earth-shattering, you might say - we are not talking about a global superpower after all.

Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with the details of Finland's political shenanigans (this lot have had more practice at coalition governments than the current UK coalition have had hot dinners and to be honest I don't understand the slightest bit about it). No, what really interested me is what having both a female head of government and a female head of state actually means for the day-to-day running of the country. Is it noticeable? 

Frankly, I don't really know. Having recently spent two weeks on holiday there doesn't really give me any sort of expertise on the subject. I would hardly say there was a significant "women are ruling this country" vibe, but then Finland is a pretty different sort of culture anyway. The truth of the matter is that Finland is one of the most gender-equal countries in the world (coming 3rd overall in the 2007 Global Gender Gap report by the World Economic Forum, and having recently been declared Best Country in the World by Newsweek, based on a number of factors, one of which was Gender Equality- the UK coming 14th overall).

Given all of that maybe we should not expect to see too much change in Finland with both a female head of state and head of government. 

Let's take a look back at Britain's first and only dalliance with a female Prime Minister. Love or hate her (and she certainly seems to polarise opinion), there is no doubt that Margaret Thatcher certainly made an impact on the country. Whether she made a positive impact on women in politics is another question. Just a simple google search for this article seems to point to disappointment that her ascension to power did little or nothing to encourage more women to enter politics.  At one point Thatcher said: "I owe nothing to Women's Lib."

Every now and then for the tiniest split second, I get the mad idea in my head that I would like to enter politics - to make a difference and somehow do "my bit". Of course, if I think about it for more than that split-second, I realise that what I really mean is that I feel I should do more in my community - "politics with small p". The thought of party politics is pretty abhorrent to me. I don't think I'm thick-skinned enough, and I'm too easily swayed by other people's arguments! From talking to my friends and acquaintances about it, I think a lot of women feel the same.  

It won't stop me wondering though - what would it really be like if women ruled the world? Yes, it probably would be different, but are we really so naive as to think that all the problems of the human race would be solved? I for one doubt it - after all, when we can get so caught up in what is the right or wrong way to have and bring up children (see here for Gappy's excellent recent post on a similar subject if you have not already done so), you do have to wonder how we are ever going to agree amongst ourselves what the answer to society's ills are.

I don't know the answer. The fatalist in me thinks that the human race would probably still bumble along in more or less the same way - always genetically inclined to argue, fight and generally make a mess of the planet. The optimist in me would like to think that things would be that little bit better - I just wonder whether we will ever find out.

Which side of the fence do you fall on?

Have You Ever Fancied A Bit On The Side?

Have you ever had an affair, or been tempted, or do you know someone who has?

Photo: F. Marq

I was chatting with a colleague yesterday, who is off to the US with work in a few weeks. She was telling me about how her husband had remarked that he thought it was odd that she had to make an appointment with the beautician for a pedicure and waxing before she went. She told me she thought he was implying that she did not make such an effort normally. Upon which I retorted that maybe he thought she was visiting some kind of fancy man out there.

I can see where she is coming from. Going somewhere away from the norm does make you want to make an effort. For some reason, every time I go on my quarterly trips to Dubai, I feel the bizarre urge to use stick-on fingernails, despite the fact that I would never dream of wearing them "in real life". Read into that what you will.

Of course, part of it is the fact that it is nice to make a bit more of an extra effort when you go somewhere different. What if is was something more though? What if I was using work trips to have a "bit on the side"?

(Before I go any further, I feel the need to add some kind of disclaimer at this point. I am NOT having an affair, and I have NO desire ever to do so. After all, there's making an effort and then there's making an effort, IYKWIM. Besides, the subject of infidelity brings up ghosts of boyfriend past, so I have experienced the hurt and pain it can cause first-hand. I have, however, been propositioned in the past - a good few years ago now.)

I understand why some people do it - the thrill of a new partner, that feeling of being desired anew, the illicit rendezvous, the furtiveness of it. It must be extremely exciting - especially if your home life is not far from thrilling.

However, I can't the only one that wonders how people get away with it longer term? In some ways it would be incredibly easy - especially if you did travel a lot. You meet someone through work, or on a social network... Would your partner ever find out? I for one am pretty useless at keeping secrets, and I am sure any guilt would be written all over my face. To be honest, I don't think I could cope with the stress of it all.

So - no thanks. I don't think I'm the girl for you.

You Shall Go to the Mall!

What do you think of when you think of Dubai? Beaches?
Endless shopping malls? WAGs? Amazing skyscrapers (including the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa), logic defying tourist attractions (skiing in 40 degree heat, anyone?)

I have now been there a total of 5 or 6 times over the last 18 months or so, each time for work purposes. Despite my best intentions, I have never managed to get round to taking any time off to really see much of the place (there goes that working mother guilt again), but thanks to various colleagues at least feel like I have managed to experience enough of the bars and restaurants that make up a lot of the vibrant nightlife. This time, I even managed to spend an evening at Dubai Mall, drooling at the Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks, and putting into action a little part of my continued wardrobe workout (post on that one to follow, I think).

If I really wanted to, I think I could probably move out there tomorrow. Everyone who is "anyone" in my division currently seems to be relocating there. I have certainly contemplated it. It is hard not to be seduced by the sunshine and the vibrancy of the place.

I then have to remind myself that going somewhere for a week's work is in no way the same as living there full-time. The weather is pretty much unbearable for my pasty Northern European complexion for 6 months of the year. (We went out to a beach bar on Wednesday night, and when we left at 11.30pm it was still 38 degrees C.) My children would not be able to play outside. I would not be eating out in fancy restaurants, and I certainly would not be frequenting bars every night! What would my husband do? Most of those moving there so far have been men, with wives that either do not work, or seem to be able to give up their jobs easily. I can't see OH joining the expat wives club.

So, for now, I will enjoy my regular trips over there, and use the chance to occasionally pretend that my single, work hard, play hard days are not far behind me...

Experienced Manager seeks Flexible Working

I think I have probably said this before, but I class myself as extremely lucky when it comes to my work situation. I have a (relatively) responsible, generously paid job, that I am able to arrange more or less comfortably around my children. It helps that I managed a fantastic, experienced team who need minimal supervision from myself.

When I went back to work after DD2 was born, I was initially working four days a week - I changed this last September when DD1 started school, so that I now do 5 days, but with Thursday and Friday from home, within school hours.

I enjoy my job. However, I have also been doing this job for a while, and feel that it will soon be time for a change. My next move will probably/hopefully still be within the same organisation - one of the advantages of working for a large corporation. I am concerned though. What if I don't find something else I want to do? What if (heaven forbid) I get laid off in the next inevitable round of cost-cutting? WHAT IF I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER JOB???!

The only jobs available that might be of interest (i.e. in a similar salary bracket) are full-time jobs. I'm sure if my current role was re-advertised, it would also be re-advertised as full time. After all, the only reason I am doing the hours I am doing is because I was already in the role and could negotiate. Most other mothers I know that work flexibly have done the same. Legally, a request for flexible working is only possible after having been with an organisation for 26 weeks continuously. Therein lies the crux of my dilemma.

Yes, I am practically doing a full-time job. Yes, I am probably more productive on a £/hr basis than I was when I was not working flexibly. However, employers do not necessarily see it that way. How could I walk into an interview and say, "nice job, sorry, can I just tell you what hours I would like to work?"They would laugh me out of the room and give the job straight to the person they would see as more committed. Short of consultancy or similar freelance work, the only option I would see would be to either bite the bullet and go full-time in the hope of negotiating flexible working down the line, or going for a lower-paid, completely part-time job. This is a choice I don't really want to contemplate. I'm really hoping I don't have to contemplate that for a long time.

Do you have experience of flexible working? Did you have to fight for the right to work flexibly? What would you do if you had to find another job? Do you know of any recruitment websites that might be of interest...?!

Is Tuna Tin a Brunette?

I noticed that the film "Sliding Doors" was on TV a few nights ago. In this, Gwyneth Paltrow plays a character whose life ends up in two different scenarios, depending on whether or not she catches a specific tube train. It made me wonder how my alter ego over at Tuna Tin was getting on. In my imagination, Tuna Tin is like a more confident, glamorous, successful version of me whose life just took a slightly different turn.

Tuna Tin, for example, didn't mess up the interview at Cambridge by going completely blank when asked about the fall of the Weimar Republic and the rise of Hitler and the 3rd Reich (which was one of her so-called specialist subjects in History), and took up the place offered there.

Tuna Tin decided to pursue her love of acting by joining a local amateur dramatics company. She invited the boyfriend of one of her Cambridge friends to one of her plays. He happened to be related to a famous director, who immediately snapped her up to play a small, but significant role in an edgy new drama.

Tuna Tin turned down several proposals of marriage from very eligible bachelors in order to concentrate on her acting career.

Tuna Tin does not have any children. She spends her weekends in the country with friends, or in town sipping champagne and admiring her designer shoe collection.

Tuna Tin is lonely and miserable. I am glad I am not her.

What are the "what if" moments in your life?