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Monday 23 April 2012

Jokes for Children, part 2 - 6/7 year olds

It's not hard to tell that I'm a pretty rubbish blogger. The perils of a full-time job and two children mean that I don't often have the time (or, let's face it - the inclination) to write regular posts. In some ways, I envy those that do, although I like to hope that maybe my sporadic approach means I only post true nuggets of golden quality (ahem).

Anyway, good bloggers are supposed to be on top of their stats and traffic, know their audience inside out and tailor their approach accordingly. Here again I fail pretty miserably, having been so totally bamboozled by the last update of google analytics that I never darkened its doors ever again. Still, blogger doesn't let me totally forget that I am supposed to worry about my stats, for it gives a handy little guide in my dashboard that I have been known to idly glance at on the odd occasion.

Pretty much consistently without fail, the one search term that brings the most people to my blog on a regular basis is either "jokes for four year olds" or "jokes for five year olds". Go on, I dare you - go google those search terms and see who comes up around halfway down the page (number three spot on the five year olds, I'll have you know - people pay good money for that sort of ranking!). Yep, yours truly with a post I wrote nearly two years ago now begging for inspiration for jokes for children.

The thing is, while my youngest daughter is now starting to appreciate the jokes aimed at this age range, eldest daughter has now turned seven, and as any parent of a seven year old will tell you, this is a vast step up in sophistication from a five year old when it comes to humour. While her little sister is still at the "why did the chicken cross the road - to get to its house" school of comedy, DD1 can be found rolling her eyes, sighing loudly and muttering "that's not even FUNNY" under her breath at her younger sibling's efforts.

I have therefore decided that now seems like an appropriate time to update my own, very limited, repertoire of jokes for children to reflect that increased sophistication. (Once again, I take no responsibility whatsoever for how funny or not these jokes are - they are purely based on those that either I, or a just-turned-seven-year-old can remember...)

Current favourites include doctor, doctor jokes, e.g.:

"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a strawberry"
"Here's some cream for you"


"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"
"Pull yourself together"

or a series of jokes revolving around deer and their various body parts (or lack thereof):

"What do you call a deer with no eyes"
"No idea"

"What do you call a deer with no ears"
"A d"
 (particular favourite, that one)

"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs"
"Still no idea"

You get the picture...

So, as before, I'm throwing the floor open to you - help me out here -what are you favourite jokes for children, for any age range?

Tuesday 17 April 2012

When Polly Pocket met Chessington World of Adventures (or the one with dolls, vampires and big fish)

Last week saw the annual "I can't believe my baaaabyyyy is X*" hand wringing that takes place around mid-April, with eldest daughter's birthday. We had already arranged a party, but when I found an email in my inbox inviting us to a Polly Pocket event at Chessington World of Adventures on the day itself, I couldn't really say no...My two have only relatively recently discovered Polly Pocket, having been given some figures for Christmas, but they were already big fans, so it seemed a bit of a no-brainer.

When we got to the hotel where the venue was, the kids totally conformed to type, as DD1 headed straight for the computers with the new Polly Pocket website, and DD2 got her face painted:

 ....but mostly they were just happy to play with all the Polly Pocket toys on offer:

When the fun was over, we were allowed free reign inside Chessington World of Adventures. I think I've blogged in the past about my love of theme parks and especially rollercoaster-type rides, so I suspect I may have been a bit more excited about this bit than the children...

We started off gently with a quick trip round the zoo, and the Sealife Centre, before heading towards the rides. To be honest, an odd number of people in a theme park is never the best idea, and we really could have done with Mr Tin being able to join us for the day - sadly he was shackled to his desk, so couldn't make it. Therefore, random adults had to be found for DD1 to pair up with on some of the scarier rides - both of my children being rollercoaster freaks like their parents.

Both kids loved the "Vampire" - their first experience of a "hanging underneath" rollercoaster - despite the fact we had to queue for nearly two hours, thankfully our longest queue. In the end, the combination of the park being busy due to school holidays and starting the day relatively late after the event meant that we probably only managed to see a third of the attractions. The cries of "please can we go again mummy" started on the way home, and I must admit the new hotel looked very tempting....

DD1 declared it the "best birthday ever" - I only hope I can live up to the next one!

Many thanks to the guys at Mattel and Chessington for a fabulous day.

(*7, in this case)

(P.S. Head over to http://pollypocketbestdayever.co.uk/ for a chance to win more fun days out, including trips to Chessington World of Adventures)


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