Maternity Leave is Wasted on Babies

Babies, eh? Cute little, adorable, needy creatures that rely completely on you, and you alone for all their needs. Right?

Wrong.

Apart from the whole breastfeeding thing (let me state at this point that I'm a big advocate, so this is a major flaw in my entire argument, but we'll handily gloss over that for the sake of my argument), let's face it, most babies couldn't give two hoots who provides them with clothing, nappy changing, feeding, bedding, bathing etc etc. Anyone can do it. Yeah, ok, there's a certain bonding element, but you're not going to love your child any less simply by outsourcing some of these activities to someone else on occasion.

Babies are fundamentally boring in the very early days, and not even you broody types can tell me otherwise. For the first few weeks, all they really do is pooh, cry, feed and sleep-at-all-times-except-when-you-really-want-them-to.

Number 2 daughter proves the benefits of box-sleeping

I remember before I had children of my own, a colleague with two daughters who were then roughly the same age as my own two daughters are now said to me that secretly she wished she could have had her maternity leave then, instead of when they were tiny. While to some it may be sacrilegious to admit it, I can totally see her point.

Now that my children are at school, I hear a lot of mums who have stayed at home until now say to me that it might be time they also now looked for a job. My tongue-in-cheek advice to them; don't do it. Yes, you may have a couple of extra hours free in the day while your offspring are at school, but believe me, you will need this time to do all the added administration that comes with school-age children. Dentist appointments, playdates, after-school clubs and school forms don't magically arrange themselves!

Then of course, once they have finished with the school day, there are extra-curricular pick-ups and drop-offs to be negotiated. A logistical nightmare with more than one child, as you can guarantee they won't ever be in the same place at the same time. Hockey practice will clash with choir rehearsals, and Brownies will never handily be at the same time as Rainbows... Plus there's always the odd child who will insist on having a birthday party on a school day. Try telling a 5 year old that they have to go to after-school club instead of a birthday party because mummy's working!

Plus, one major (dis)advantage a school-age child has over a baby is of course the power of speech. Yeah, so maybe your baby will cry when you drop them off at nursery or with a childminder, but a nice cinnamon latte with your colleagues later, and you kind of get over any guilt you're feeling. A child, however, can look you in the eye and ask the question all working parents dread; "WHY MUMMY?". Why can't you drop them off at school every day, why do they have to go to childcare, why can't you come and help in class, why can't you come on a trip... They're manipulative little beasts that know exactly which buttons to press and which heartstrings to tug for maximum effect.

And yes, they are actually more fun - you can do so much more together! My daughters like rollercoasters, and music and riding bikes, just like I do.

Finally, working full-time is a real bummer for your social life. How are you supposed to accept invitations to blogging events, pop round to your neighbour's for a cuppa and a natter, or meet up with lovely blogging friends if you have to book a day's holiday to do it?!

So, yeah, maternity leave is wasted on babies. Who's going to sign my petition?

Is This The Ultimate In Working Mother Guilt?

My current working pattern involves 3 days in the office, and 2 days from home worked in around the school run. However, from June/July onwards, I'll be doing 2 days office, 3 days at home, as the company I work for is moving buildings and trying to encourage as many people to hot-desk as possible in a quest to save space.

It was therefore high time to reassess the working arrangements. Up until now, I had been using a desk in corner of the "family room". However, this is slowly no longer a family room, but a room full of children's junk, so it was really time to come up with another option.

As I have mentioned before, we live in a Victorian terrace, and the layout of the bedrooms is a little unconventional by today's standards. We have four bedrooms in total - three on the first floor, and one on the second floor. The third bedroom on the first floor was originally very small in comparison to the others, and is now even smaller, due to the fact that previous occupants took a chunk out of it at some point to enlarge the bathroom. Up until this weekend, this was DD1's bedroom. There was enough space for a bed, a small wardrobe and a small bookcase - in fact, the perfect size for a study. However, what were we going to do with DD1?

The top floor has one extremely large bedroom that, eventually - funds permitting and if I can ever work out where to squeeze a shower room - I would like to divide into two bedrooms for the girls. However, at the moment they are really still too young, and need to be on the same floor as us. The only feasible option was therefore to put the girls together.

Since the Easter weekend, they have therefore been sharing a room, which they both seem to love (it is great to see them getting on so well). Unfortunately, it has also coincided with DD2 developing a really awful cough that gets much worse at night, so I now not only feel guilty for kicking DD1 out of her bedroom (even if we did give her plenty of opportunity to object and it meant making more room in the playroom), but I now feel terribly guilty that they are both not sleeping well due to my laziness. As you will no doubt point out to me, I could just have moved my study into the spare room on the top floor without too much additional upheaval. You would be right, but it's just too far to walk to the kitchen when I want to make myself a cup of tea!