In Cyberspace, No-one Can See You Pout

(or - "My God, is she actually still blogging?")


TMI Alert (and no, this post doesn't really go anywhere, sorry)

The past month has seemed more hectic than usual - work is picking up again (new boss, all change etc etc), weekends seem to have been filled with a strange social whirlwind that shows little sign of abating at the moment - there are literally only two weekends between now and back to school in September where our diaries are completely free - but to top it all off, I have been laid low twice with a horrendous stomach bug that, without putting too fine a point on it, involved torrents of Biblical proportions of things that should not be torrential.

The second bout took me completely by surprise, after I assumed I had fully recovered from the first bout, and I can only describe as "miffed" my mood when it turned out I would be spending a couple of extra bank holidays in bed . NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF A HANGOVER. How unfair. Anyway, much as I am happy to moan on here, I decided to keep my moaning away from other social media platforms, using the principle of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it.

The problem with platforms like Twitter etc, however, is that people come and go all the time. This week has been half term, so lots of people have been away anyway, including a lot of the people that I converse with the most, so it seems fair that nobody would really have noticed that I hadn't tweeted in a couple of days. (By day three I have got a bit miffed though...I COULD HAVE BEEN ON MY DEATHBED, PEOPLE!).

Also this week, I had an email from the lovely folks at google with an annual renewal for my domain, and it got me wondering what it would really be like to withdraw from the online world altogether. I know other people have done it, and a couple of relatively high-profile parent bloggers have deleted their blogs recently and considering the infrequency with which I actually post anything here I am hesitating as to whether I really want to fork out the vast sum of $10...

The bad news for anyone reading this, however, is that my list of ideas for posts appears to be growing.

To misquote another famous film - I think I'll be back.
(Assuming it ever stops raining)

Jokes for Children, part 2 - 6/7 year olds

It's not hard to tell that I'm a pretty rubbish blogger. The perils of a full-time job and two children mean that I don't often have the time (or, let's face it - the inclination) to write regular posts. In some ways, I envy those that do, although I like to hope that maybe my sporadic approach means I only post true nuggets of golden quality (ahem).

Anyway, good bloggers are supposed to be on top of their stats and traffic, know their audience inside out and tailor their approach accordingly. Here again I fail pretty miserably, having been so totally bamboozled by the last update of google analytics that I never darkened its doors ever again. Still, blogger doesn't let me totally forget that I am supposed to worry about my stats, for it gives a handy little guide in my dashboard that I have been known to idly glance at on the odd occasion.

Pretty much consistently without fail, the one search term that brings the most people to my blog on a regular basis is either "jokes for four year olds" or "jokes for five year olds". Go on, I dare you - go google those search terms and see who comes up around halfway down the page (number three spot on the five year olds, I'll have you know - people pay good money for that sort of ranking!). Yep, yours truly with a post I wrote nearly two years ago now begging for inspiration for jokes for children.

The thing is, while my youngest daughter is now starting to appreciate the jokes aimed at this age range, eldest daughter has now turned seven, and as any parent of a seven year old will tell you, this is a vast step up in sophistication from a five year old when it comes to humour. While her little sister is still at the "why did the chicken cross the road - to get to its house" school of comedy, DD1 can be found rolling her eyes, sighing loudly and muttering "that's not even FUNNY" under her breath at her younger sibling's efforts.

I have therefore decided that now seems like an appropriate time to update my own, very limited, repertoire of jokes for children to reflect that increased sophistication. (Once again, I take no responsibility whatsoever for how funny or not these jokes are - they are purely based on those that either I, or a just-turned-seven-year-old can remember...)

Current favourites include doctor, doctor jokes, e.g.:

"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a strawberry"
"Here's some cream for you"

or

"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"
"Pull yourself together"

or a series of jokes revolving around deer and their various body parts (or lack thereof):

"What do you call a deer with no eyes"
"No idea"

"What do you call a deer with no ears"
"A d"
 (particular favourite, that one)

"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs"
"Still no idea"

You get the picture...

So, as before, I'm throwing the floor open to you - help me out here -what are you favourite jokes for children, for any age range?

Random Thoughts from Inside my Head, the 2 year Blogoversary Edition

So, last Saturday was my two-year blogoversary. Apparently it is customary to mark such things, although I seem to recall I missed my first one as well...still, it goes nicely with my general "I never remember birthdays or anniversaries" haphazardness.

Of course, the only reason I remember this particular anniversary, is because the Annual Ski Disaster  Trip is looming next week, and I seem to remember this being close to my first post on this blog. (I think I have documented my general fears on the subject enough, but suffice to say, I am approaching it with my usual mix of trepidation, fear and excitement. I am fully expecting the usual week of gritted teeth and "why did I agree to this", to be followed by the euphoria of "I'm not dead, let's do it again". )

Looking back, it still amazes me that I managed to maintain an average of two posts per week in my first year of blogging, when these days I barely manage two a month. Still, that's what being busier at work and having children with more demands as they get older does, I suppose.

Anyway, to those of you who have stuck around - thank you, and have you considered seeking psychiatric help?

Move Along, Nothing to See Here...

I want to write a post.

I neeeed to write a post.

And yet... and yet... somehow I have nothing I want to write about. I seem to be in a state of limbo that leaves me restless, fidgety and unable to concentrate on anything for more than five minutes at a time. This translates into blog posts of a few sentences at best.

I'm sure it will come again. I just wish it would make it quick.

I need a holiday.

I Heart Me, Week 5 - How Do You Blog?

This post is for Notes' weekly "I Heart Me" Linky. This week's question is "How Do You Blog"? Click on the image below to see what everyone else has linked up:

It is probably painfully clear to anyone that has been following this blog for a while that I am not the most consistent of bloggers. Phases of great enthusiasm follow deep troughs of apathy. Life is often busy enough - I simply don't have the time, or perhaps the discipline or inclination to blog it as well! (Last week's question being a case in point - simply didn't get round to it, sorry Notes!)

To me that is ok - the last thing I want is for blogging to become a chore - there seems very little point in putting something up half-heartedly for the sake of it. By definition then, blogging is something snatched and random - a moment when I have a few minutes to think, either when the kids are watching some TV, or in my lunch break at work.

Some posts will have been brewing for a while, whereas others are spontaneous and written down in seconds flat (and usually tagged with "rushed post" in the hope that anyone reading might forgive its slightly more rough and ready nature!). Some posts will have a very defined purpose, a point I wish to make - more often than not, however, they end in a random, meandering sort of wondering as my mind flits on to the next subject...

I Heart Me Monday - No 1

My good friend Notes has created a new Monday meme -" I ♥ Me", where she poses a question each Friday, to be answered on the following Monday. This week's question is : "What have you realised about yourself through your blogging"

So, what have I realised through my blogging?

1) My inner extrovert is more important than I realised

I may have mentioned before that I'm a bit of an introvert. I am the sort of person who has few, but very close friendships - most of my friends I have known a long time - and I do not easily meet new people, other than very superficially. Yet the thing I enjoy most about blogging is the social aspect, the interaction with others, even if it is mainly in a virtual way. Heck - I've even managed to overcome my anxieties and meet one or two of them in real life, and guess what - they are actually quite nice people!

2) It's important to have a creative outlet

Whilst my husband reads my blog, and occasionally makes suggestions or comments, blogging is definitely "my" thing. It makes me laugh, it has occasionally made me cry, but most of all it makes me think. And in this day and age that can't be a bad thing.

3) I can make time for things I enjoy

You may not know that I have second blog - The Fantasy Decorator - where I indulge my love for homes and interior decoration in a purely amateurish way. As well as having two children and working full time, I honestly don't really know how I find time for one blog - let alone two. Turns out you don't have to have a perfectly spotless house either - it's much easier to dream about it online and close your eyes to the chaos of the real world.

Now click on the badge at the top to be taken to the original post, and see what everyone else has linked up!