We watched Ratatouille with the kids at the weekend. There’s a scene towards the end, where the big restaurant critic comes to dine at the restaurant. “What can I get you”, asks the waiter. “Perspective” replies the critic.
If only it were so easy to order perspective like that. I could do with some of it myself right now. I find myself strangely down with no apparent reason. I’ve written before about my tendency to internalise. I’ve never been a big “sharer”, preferring to withdraw into my little shell until the mood passes.
The problem with this approach, of course, is that when, or if, something eventually gives, it can come as a complete shock to those around me, who had no idea of the thoughts or feelings that have been welling up over time. Case in point; bursting into tears when my husband came home last night. I couldn't even really tell him what was wrong. The truth is, I don’t even know why I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment – I certainly have nothing at all to complain about.
I heard a story recently of a friend of a friend of such anguish and heartbreak; involving a severely disabled child, broken homes, domestic abuse that really made me think about perspective, and my seeming lack of it. To paraphrase and garble that famous saying beloved of all parents; I can’t believe I’m stressing about not finding a holiday when there are children starving in Africa.
Today, I’d like a healthy dose of Perspective please. With a side order of Count Your Blessings.
Awww honey! Everyone gets down in the dumps every now and again, tis the human condition - don't be so hard on yourself. Perspective is good, but you still need the downs to really appreciate the ups. Embrace it, wallow for a bit, get up, get on. You're fab xxxxx
ReplyDeleteRetreating into your shell is not the answer because it all builds up until you find yourself crying because someone has put the wrong cutlery on the table... which usually leads to a perplexed spouse who can't understand why the cutlery has caused such upset
ReplyDeleteSending perspective, love and understanding - try and not be too hard on yourself, sometimes its a little something that is the straw that breaks the camel's back
I know how you feel, I am like this too and you are right about the perspective. Sometimes without really noticing the lttle things build up and get on top of you but when you take a step back you can see how lucky you really are x
ReplyDeleteCheer up, lovely Julie!
ReplyDeleteTake that tree trunk out of your hands! It is much better to go with how you are feeling at these times rather than trying to find a reason for it. Just go with the flow. Warn the family to be ready for 'outbursts' & it will pass quicker than if you try to force it away.*gets off soap box & passes tissues* xx
ReplyDeleteIn true "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" mode, here's a guy running in with the solution, when you just want to talk.... well not quite.
ReplyDeleteFirst I think these feelings are a bit like Parkinson's Law. We have a certain emotional capacity for these sort of feelings, and thinking time will fill the allotted grief time, independent of what's happening in the world out there. Well not quite, but I've found that what's going on in life is more of a distraction than a cause.
Coming from Yorkshire, we take the "curtain" approach to depression..."pull yourself together". Doesn't work for me! Nor does comparisons with starving people in Africa. What does work is further analysis and distraction.
The lowest point in my life was in 2005 when my wife of 23 years died of breast cancer. In recovering from that loss, the best thing I ever did was to get on the internet and read about the grief process that I was going through. Self analysis and better self knowledge helped.
Distraction! I've been told I'm wrong on this, but I do find it helps to create some sort of distraction for myself. Even if it's just buying a photo or interior design mag. The kids used to call me Mr Project. The point about distraction is that it stops you thinking about things, full on, all the time. That's something I find quite debilitating.
So, as a Man from Mars, I think that's enough for now. I haven't even touched on the artificial pressures we are under from our consumer orientated society...woops...now I have!
Twitter: @markwrig:twitter
*hugs you* I just looked in that uncanny mirror again. I so often find when I get all tied up in emotions like this that the 'issue' is never quite what I imagine it is but something much deeper niggling away at me...
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