Random holiday rambling, August 2014

Things I have learnt on holiday;

1) Cockroach poo looks remarkably like mouse poo. It's also weirdly crunchy.
2) An upset stomach is still the best bikini diet, but it doesn't help shake off that pale and pasty, 'just arrived' look
3) Either "Jingle Bell Rock" is no longer classed as a Christmas record, or Paphos, 3rd August 2014 sets a new record for inappropriate festive cheer on the radio...
4) No matter what age the children, parenting is spending 99% of your time trying to keep them quiet to avoid annoying other people.
5) In a classic tale of middle class woes, my children do not know how to work a simple pop-up toaster. After all, everyone we know has a Dualit. Oh, the shame.
6) Speaking of shame, I can't help thinking that if you are going to have a large tattoo of what appears to be a bull with giant horns in between and over your breasts, and then sunbathe topless, it looks a bit odd if you suddenly go all shy and start walking around with you hands covering your boobs. No. Not talking about myself, for the avoidance of doubt.

Things that I already knew, but have been reinforced;

7) I'm really, really not built for tanning or sunbathing, and never will be.
8) A "meze" platter always seems like a good idea when contemplating a menu with an empty stomach, but it will only inevitably end in wasted food and the knowledge of what a Christmas turkey must feel like. A bit like the Mediterranean equivalent of a"meal for two " at a Chinese takeaway.

9) Nice as it is to go "offline" for a period of time, it is becoming increasingly difficult to live without internet access, especially when life necessitates the researching of cockroach poo.
10) It's always good to be reminded that swimwear is a great leveller. (See also 6, above)

Middle Class Woes

Tragedy has struck the Tin household. Our dishwasher is dead. It had a good run, bless it, having been bought from friends when they moved house 13 years ago. That's German engineering for you, I suppose. It had been on its last legs for the past six months or so, and had been declared dead twice before, only to have been magically resurrected by Mr Tin's fair hands. This time, however, it's definitely terminal. Of course, it decided to go out with a bang - quite literally - when we were entertaining aforementioned friends on Saturday night, blowing a fuse and temporarily taking all other kitchen appliances with it (including the oven, causing a momentary panic until we decided takeaway menus were thankfully not required).

As household appliances go, dishwashers definitely fall into that "nice to have, but not really essential" category, let's face it. Plenty of people manage without them all the time. Yet when you are used to having had one for such a long time, not having one feels like your right arm has been cut off. (Well, it doesn't really, because you just get your husband to do all the washing up as too much water aggravates your eczema.)

bish bash Bosch

Also traumatising me this week are cheap reed diffusers. As we all know, reed diffusers are the new scented candle. I was reminded of their middle class status since a recent visit to my local John Lewis store established that they seem to stock more of them than even - gasp! - cushions.

Anyway, I purchased some reed diffusers at a local discount retailer a while ago, which provided a delicate scent in my bathroom for many weeks. The thing with discount stores, however, is that you get whatever they have in stock at the time, and the replacement reed diffuser just doesn't quite cut the mustard, giving off a strangely synthetic smell along with the orange and neroli. Note to self; just as cheap scented candles are never worth it, it seems that applies to the general world of household fragrance.

Finally, a thought about lightbulbs; How is it possible to have so many spare lightbulbs, yet it is always a struggle to find one that fits when you need one?!

Random Thoughts of the Week - the Snow Joke edition

Remember bleats? I think it's probably time to resurrect them this week.

- This week I've been musing about timekeeping. The children's school has been open all week through the snowmageddon* (*a few flakes) we've had here in the UK, but they did open late on Monday to allow everyone extra time to get in. It amused me greatly therefore, that it was still the exact same families running towards me with that "we're late" expression on their faces when I'm on my way back home, as every other morning. Seems even an extra hour to get to school doesn't help with ones internal body clock. Some people are just naturally late for everything, it seems.

- I've also been kind of glad I don't have teenagers (yet - although eldest daughter does a good impression of one on occasion). At least my children are still at the age where I can dress them in sensible warm snow clothing without them making too much of a fuss about it. It did make me smile when we saw a family in London last weekend where the parents had obviously lost the "you're not going out like that" argument, and while parents looked snug and warm in their thick coats, hats, scarves and gloves, teenage daughter looked slightly blue in a thin faux-leather jacket and Converse. Also - hoorah for having been skiing recently and having the right gear to actually fit my children!

- Whilst snow does make for such pretty pictures, I think I'm just about ready for spring now. That may be a tad optimistic in January, however!

Random Thoughts of the Week - The Autumn Has Broken Edition

- It seems this past weekend was officially The End of Summer in the UK if the weathermen are to be believed. With the promised onset of the dreaded rain and gale-force winds, it seems like the perfect opportunity to go camping again for one last time this year next weekend - oh, and just in case there is the slightest possibility that the weekend may, against expectations, remain dry, it seems we'll be spending a day canoeing to ensure that we get wet anyway. Eek. Wish me luck.

- Back to school seems to have been less painful than perhaps I had anticipated. There's a lot to be said for being overly dramatic and fearing the worst with things; when the apocalypse doesn't happen it leaves you in a much happier state!

- I'm actually ready to start wearing jumpers and scarves and (whoop! new!) jackets! At least it feels like it's about the right time to do so (rather than just having to do so because of our rubbish summer). It's also got me thinking that I really must clear out my wardrobe...

- My mind is full of interior design ideas, and this time I have a proper, bona-fide outlet for them!

- Thoughts are turning to blackberry and apple crumble...pies...mmmm....custard...

Not long now!

Please remind me of all of these points when I start moaning about the dark evenings...

School Summer Holiday Thoughts

Ah, the long, lazy summer holidays...right?

Wrong.

As a working parent there's really no such thing. No lie-ins, no lazy days in the garden, no end to the "school run" and the rush to work (only this time it's the "holiday club run"). It can be hard sometimes not to feel a pang of jealousy when you are rushing to get children ready for childcare with half an eye on Twitter, when you read about others sipping coffee in a peaceful house. (This of course assumes you are lucky enough to have few childcare issues over the holidays - not necessarily always a given!)

By around day three, however, and mentions of "boredom", grumbles about the cost of activities, wailing at ruined houses start to appear, tales of kids eating into adult time by staying up late... By the middle of that blissful six-week period, when the "MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY, WHEN ARE THEY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL" desperation kicks in, I am reminded that it's not easy for anyone - no matter how much greener the grass sometimes looks like from the other side. 

Then there's the fact that, without fail, one of my family can be guaranteed to come down with some kind of illness during a school holiday. It's as though the lack of routine is too much for the body to cope with, so it forces a relaxation. Last weekend it was me, and at the time of writing it appears to have affected daughter number 2. There's nothing like spending a sunny day in bed to really feel like you are wasting precious "leisure" time!

All of that, however, doesn't seem to matter at the moment, for when the sun shines the mood is instantly lifted. So - whatever you're doing - I hope you have a lovely summer!

Random Thoughts of the Week

1) I don't "get" ugly dogs. By that I don't mean the mean, fierc-looking ones - in some way I understand how for some they are status symbols. I don't even mean the ones that are so ugly they are cute (like the pooch in the pic above - officially Britain's ugliest dog, apparently - you just can't help feel sorry for him, can you?). There's a category somewhere in between that just makes me marvel how they even still exist and how they still breed.

2) At the risk of sounding all middle-aged and fuddy-duddy - when did Katie Price become such an apparently ubiquitous role model for young women? I honestly don't know how there is any hair dye, hair spray, foundation or false eyelashes left in the whole of the county if a recent night out is to be believed. (And, yes, I really do sound like my mother). What happened to natural beauty?

3) Isn't it strange how mowing a lawn can make a garden look so much more clean and tidy? It's like giving the whole place a bit of a shave and getting rid of the stubble.

4) This year is the first year that I really seem to have struggled with the change to BST. I have just been so tired all week. Can one measly hour really make that much difference?! Thankfully the children seem to have adapted relatively well - I guess I should thank heaven for small mercies.