tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post4922452253346888226..comments2011-07-14T08:56:46.606+01:00JulieBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05541550094754392755noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-59980307639162022792011-07-14T08:56:46.607+01:002011-07-14T08:56:46.607+01:00*hugs you* I just looked in that uncanny mirror again.  I so often find when I get all tied up in emotions like this that the &#39;issue&#39; is never quite what I imagine it is but something much deeper niggling away at me... Kailexnesshttp://twitter.com/Kailexnessnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-79393104768559138052011-07-13T08:41:54.016+01:002011-07-13T08:41:54.016+01:00In true &quot;Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus&quot; mode, here&#39;s a guy running in with the solution, when you just want to talk.... well not quite.<br /><br />First I think these feelings are a bit like Parkinson&#39;s Law. We have a certain emotional capacity for these sort of feelings, and thinking time will fill the allotted grief time, independent of what&#39;s happening in the world out there. Well not quite, but I&#39;ve found that what&#39;s going on in life is more of a distraction than a cause.<br /><br />Coming from Yorkshire, we take the &quot;curtain&quot; approach to depression...&quot;pull yourself together&quot;. Doesn&#39;t work for me! Nor does comparisons with starving people in Africa. What does work is further analysis and distraction. <br /><br />The lowest point in my life was in 2005 when my wife of 23 years died of breast cancer. In recovering from that loss, the best thing I ever did was to get on the internet and read about the grief process that I was going through. Self analysis and better self knowledge helped.<br /><br />Distraction! I&#39;ve been told I&#39;m wrong on this, but I do find it helps to create some sort of distraction for myself. Even if it&#39;s just buying a photo or interior design mag. The kids used to call me Mr Project. The point about distraction is that it stops you thinking about things, full on, all the time. That&#39;s something I find quite debilitating.<br /><br />So, as a Man from Mars, I think that&#39;s enough for now. I haven&#39;t even touched on the artificial pressures we are under from our consumer orientated society...woops...now I have!<br /><br />Twitter: @markwrig:twitter Markwrignoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-32297676662226122192011-07-13T08:38:50.689+01:002011-07-13T08:38:50.689+01:00Take that tree trunk out of your hands! It is much better to go with how you are feeling at these times rather than trying to find a reason for it. Just go with the flow. Warn the family to be ready for &#39;outbursts&#39; &amp; it will pass quicker than if you try to force it away.*gets off soap box &amp; passes tissues* xxjfb57noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-39936230748544710952011-07-12T21:32:21.674+01:002011-07-12T21:32:21.674+01:00Cheer up, lovely Julie!SpencerParknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-36374968154243995902011-07-12T10:05:51.315+01:002011-07-12T10:05:51.315+01:00I know how you feel, I am like this too and you are right about the perspective. Sometimes without really noticing the lttle things build up and get on top of you but when you take a step back you can see how lucky you really are xMummy_Vhttp://mumatalk.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-54866243116140415272011-07-12T10:00:50.642+01:002011-07-12T10:00:50.642+01:00Retreating into your shell is not the answer because it all builds up until you find yourself crying because someone has put the wrong cutlery on the table... which usually leads to a perplexed spouse who can&#39;t understand why the cutlery has caused such upset<br /><br />Sending perspective, love and understanding - try and not be too hard on yourself, sometimes its a little something that is the straw that breaks the camel&#39;s backMuddling Alonghttp://www.muddlingalongmummy.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5465965594913164680.post-67266757806861108982011-07-12T09:53:55.357+01:002011-07-12T09:53:55.357+01:00Awww honey! Everyone gets down in the dumps every now and again, tis the human condition - don&#39;t be so hard on yourself.  Perspective is good, but you still need the downs to really appreciate the ups. Embrace it, wallow for a bit, get up, get on.  You&#39;re fab xxxxxElaineHnoreply@blogger.com